found, from last summer.

i want home to be
a place i can find, i want
everything to play out to some
perfectly-fashioned script, i want
them to understand, i want him
to kiss me at the right time in the
right way not like this
in my imagination. i want
drunken revelries, the world
spinning and twirling and us
laughing and singing and stumbling
together again, not like this
not her tears, her insecurities
clouding over everything. i want
a tv sitcom melodrama, a
happy ending with a nice neat moral and
break for commercials, i want him
to be my everything, i want him
worthy of my infatuation, i want
be something more than
a boy with too much music and
too much weed and adorably floppy hair, i want
not to want him so much, i want
him.